A few weeks ago, I spoke with one of my trusted mentors from my church. I confided in her about the latest aspects of my daily life including my relationships, friendships, and family ordeals. She listened to everything I had to say and came to an understanding. I told her about my latest interest in a guy and she told me about how some aspects of our relationship could be harmful to the path that god has for me.
Though I am unaware of all the plans god has for me, He knows the plans he has for me. It's very difficult not to get caught up in the same cycle as those before you when you have no faith in god, or yourself as a human.Whenever God's will for me did not align with the will I had for myself, I would lose faith. It was my mistake thinking that God did not want me to achieve the happiness that I wanted for myself.
My favorite scripture is Psalms 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." My understanding of this scripture had been misconstrued because my only intention was to attain my desires; love, success, and good fortune. I paid no mind to what it looked like to delight myself in the lord. I now realize that when I genuinely delight myself in the lord and his will, my desires changed. I don't desire the wealth of the world, but the riches of his knowledge. I no longer desire high positions on this earth because I know that this land is temporary.
I had let my relationships become idols, and I spent more time talking to friends than talking to God, who has given me everything I have. No matter what happens, I have to remember that the lord can give and the lord can take away, but his Will will be done. The fact that he sent the holy spirit to help me avoid some of the dangers of the life, is blessing enough and I can be sure that it will never be taken from me.
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