Attitude is Everything!!

"It is my attitude, not my aptitude, that determines my altitude, or how far I can go"- Rev. Jesse Jackson

Today was my first day of high school. I was excited but I knew I had to be cautious. I had received a lot of great advice but my favorite words of wisdom came straight from a quote said by the Reverend Jesse Jackson. Time management, responsibility, and maintaining my stress levels were all things I had heard already but I didn't know what attitude to have. Three things I learned from high school just today were: depend solely on God because no one can work out a high school schedule better than him, discern who you take advice from because not everyone wants you to succeed, or at least not beyond them, and stay positive because joy comes every morning. Today I had to decide if I would stay positive no matter what or let other attitudes affect my own. Will I look at it as always being lonely, or learning independence? Will I say i'm constantly bored, or I'm learning patience? Do I have nothing to prove or everything to prove? Here's a quote from myself inspired by the one above, "With a negative attitude, it is easy to determine the quality of the work you can accomplish, but with a positive attitude it is nearly impossible to determine the quantity of what you'll do ." Thank you to all those who prayed for my first day, it was great!

A poem WARNING it doesn't rhyme!! ;)

 The Last One Left a Scar

The last one was supposed to be my first

He wanted my love for him to equate his lust for me

Well that didn’t work

So he made my pain equate all his feelings

The scar has gotten smaller now but it hurts just the same

Too big to be concealed

Too small to be a big deal

No, no, no it is not a matter of size

That scar cut so DEEP it hit my heart

Sending mix messages

Making me think it was my fault

But honestly he wasn’t my first nor my last

Everyone says love is so blind

but i saw very well

How affection turned to aggression

Go on take a shot

Take another shot

No! Go ahead!

Hold your hand up and try it again

Because the first time you missed me

The first time you kissed me

I saw you so broken

and offered repair

not knowing that my spirit would be left worse than yours

But not broken

Still i can say he wasn’t my first nor my last

He wasn’t my first kiss, my first love and

I’ll never have his first born

And he wasn’t my last take or last look at love

But that was the last straw

I will find my first and my last love

And i’ll recognize him

because i didn’t wait around long enough

For you to do to my eye what you did to my spirit, so

Dear Mr. First and Last, I want to apologize

because the last one left a scar.

signed - Rachel  Holt

The fear of failure and the fear of success

I was so afraid to start this blog but now i see how much of a blessing it is. I've experienced that feeling of uncertainty before because I had a deep fear of failure and even a fear of success. I realized this last year when I felt no urge to get involved in school. I always thought that because of my predicament I was not supposed to succeed in life. I grew up in Northwest Philly and we lived in a house that was filled over capacity. Of course I loved it because in my eyes I saw family all around me all the time, but as society sees it we were doing really bad. I watched my single mom work extremely hard for things that she couldn't keep. She gave everything she earned to us. Seeing this made me create a work ethic in school that went unnoticed because at John Wister, teachers had to prevent danger more than nurture gifts in children. Then, there came a time when I felt like life was all good. God sent a man for my mom with opportunity in his hands. We moved from Germantown to Upper Darby and got a Chevy Equinox. I went to a new school where in 1st grade I got tested for a gifted program. Anyone who knows anything knows that you don't go from John Wister to a better school and get qualified as gifted, you're supposed to be two steps behind everyone. That was the same mindset in which my fear grew. I felt as if i should be wearing a hat reading "I'm not supposed to be here", while everyone else thought I should be reading chapter books. Over the years God let me know I'm supposed to be here because it was in his perfect will that I end up here. As the scripture says,"For I know the plans I have for you", says the lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 Thank you for reading.

The Young. The black. And the Female.

I just recently came back from the island of Barbados and man can I tell you I found the purpose In that beautiful experience. I saw how I can benefit a team and how much of a role I can play in the development of this great big world. In America, everyone is given a role in society based on many different things such as status, earnings, ethnicity, etc. I am 14; I am young; I am a black woman, Young Black Female. Many would see these things as setbacks in America because it is no secret that in America some of the most disrespected people are young people, black people, and females. As the quote says, "Every Setback is a set up for a comeback"-T.D. Jakes. I no longer see these things as setbacks. I see each of these individual things as an opportunity, or set up, to be a comeback for the oppressed. The young. The black. And the female. I may not be old enough for many things, but I am old enough to pray and that is the most powerful privilege of them all.  I may not be able to travel in every part of this world, but I can show my fellow brothers and sisters how it all really began. I may never make as much money as a man does in my field, but I can make some change. So I say be encouraged to the YOUNG, the BLACK, and the FEMALE because you have NOTHING to be ashamed of.