The Leaf

When I was 16 i picked up a leaf
My dad passed and passed on his grief
Few months passed, I was "in control"
Then 2 years later smoke filled my soul

It took me 2 whole years to realize

That when the leaf dies
it plants a seed in your mind
And how the time flies
is all you really find

If peace were money I was in debt 

And the green was the expense

Self-abandonment was the game

And i was playing offense

Faith down to a mustard seed

inhaling my wants, exhaling my needs
Trading my mind for a quick relief

How could a leaf be such a thief

Memory shot and i held the gun
I forgot this is supposed to be fun
In these thoughts I began to drown
I reached the bottom of the pit then i put the leaf down

It was a leaf that carried much weight
Crossover self love to self hate
But as it fell I began to breathe
Inhale, exhale, believe

I wrote this poem as a reflection of a season of self medication. I wasn't thinking of my future, I just made choices that I thought would help alleviate my present circumstances. I encourage anyone who struggles with self-medication to think about why you started smoking in the first place and deal with the real issues at hand.

James 1: 14-15 Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. 15These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.

A Letter to Dr.King

Dear Dr. King,
Back in 2008, Barack Obama was elected and I understood what you meant when you said, "..it was a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity." Just 8 years later, Hate was elected and I lost that feeling. In August of the same year, Eric Reid and Colin Kaepernick decided to kneel during the national anthem in response to the unjust murder of Alton Sterling. #TakeAKnee. People feuded over social networks but one tweet stood out from the rest. "Maybe he should find a country that works better for him"-Donald J. Trump.

"America has given the negro a bad check, a check that has come back marked insufficient funds." The courts keep giving us a bad verdict, one that always come back marked not guilty. Philando Castile, Alton Sterling, Keith Lamont Scott, Michael Brown, Anthony Lamar Smith, Tamir Rice, Freddie Gray, Sandra Bland. You said, "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." Trayvon is starting to sound like a whisper. I know we're not satisfied, we must be asleep. #StayWoke

On a good note, I haven't seen any "whites only" signs in the streets, but I see the signs of white privilege in schools, offices, and in the media. Black actors, singers, producers, and directors getting invited to award shows but rarely getting awarded. Guess the odds weren't in their favor, but oddly enough they "randomly" chose the little black boy to wear the "coolest monkey in the jungle" sweatshirt. If you think that was mistake, you're in a deep slumber.

I'm sorry Dr. King, we're still dreaming.